The 2nd of any month just seems to be different than other dates.
I am less settled, less patient, and frazzled.
I don't realize sometimes that it's even the 2nd-
and then as I try and figure out why my day is going the way it is,
I glance at the calendar,
I realize it's the 2nd,
A date that just can't seem to get better.
All of the sudden I find my mind wondering back,
to the call, to the words, to the goodbye.
My mind is racing with flashbacks of 8 of the toughest days of my life,
and to memories of everything we shared.
22 months ago-
I still don't understand why or how?
I grow sadder and angrier as the second of each month passes.
For a minute I just want to go back…
I just want to go back to life before April 24th, 2013
The Gene size hole in my heart continues to grow...
As time on the calendar continues to move on.
For those who ask or those who want to, but don't know how.
For those who wonder how we are doing-
We are broken,
We will always be.
We are here,
but not as fully as we were before.
We are living,
but we live with a huge hole.
We smile,
Simply to hide the pain.
For those who continue to say " you are so strong,"
I am not, I am falling apart inside day in and day out.
Missing you-
